Credentials of a House Husband

I don’t stay at home; it’s true.

I’m not raising children; right.

How do I have the audacity to claim the title of House Husband? Do I dare poke fun at those that call themselves house spouses? Well, yes, kind of. Only because I firmly believe that if I can’t poke fun at myself then I shouldn’t publish anything, and I believe I have taken on the role of house spouse as much as any baby-touting better-half.

Over the past five and a half years of marriage, our job situations have, well, fluctuated. Across the timeline of our marriage, the weight of “nights away” and “hours worked” and “multiple jobs” has shifted back and forth. The realization came that this weight had shifted away from me when I was only working one job at 40 hours a week. This was the least I had worked in the lifetime of our marriage. At the same moment, Marie was working five part-time jobs. It was time to ramp up the expectations I had for myself and our homestead by taking on another job: house husband.

I’m no stranger to bivocationality. Not only do I have personal experience in the field, but this seems to be an epidemic of my generation. This hipster phenomena has seen a lot of young people going to college for something about which they are passionate, then graduate to work full-time in retail or food service or hospitality in order to support their passion as part-time or free-lance or volunteer work.

As I stepped into my new role, I realized something that I didn’t expect: this new job was my passion. I like running a tight ship, I like keeping the dust off our mantle, I like organizing and decorating and innovating and improvising. It’s not that Marie doesn’t help clean; she just doesn’t like it enough to write about it on the internet. This job for me is fun, it’s gratifying, and I’ll work full-time to support it.

That’s why I am the audaciously self-appointed House Husband of our little homestead, and those are the credentials I use to write as one.

Credentials of a Hipster

I tie my bow ties by hand.Bow Ties

You see, I went through a phase for about three months in which I decided to wear a tie everyday. It started out innocently enough: an attempt at self-discipline and an interest in resolving my typically disheveled appearance.

At that time, the four-in-hand knot was the only knot I knew, and I used it everyday for about a week until I got bored. “Am I really going to do this every day?” I asked myself. There has to be more to this.

So started the YouTube videos. Windsor, Half-Windsor, Pratt. Spread collars, button downs, stays. All of this was very good, but I needed something to challenge me at the same time that it told the world: I know how to do something that you don’t!

I tie my bow ties by hand, you see.

And really, that’s all you need to know. The air of superiority with which I can relish that sentence is one of the fundamental components of being a hipster. What you don’t need to know is the hours I practiced and failed, or the fact that the majority of my knowledge about neckwear comes from YouTube. Because a big part of being a hipster is knowing enough useless information to belittle other people without really knowing anything at all.

This is a place in which I can vent some of these peculiarities at the same time that it gives voice to the less coarse of my oddities.¬†Whether it’s gardening or moped repair or home brewing or the exact temperature at which to brew your coffee, that’s the stuff I’ll tell you about; because that’s the stuff I know about. I am credentialed as a hipster to speak on these and other matters of impracticality, so I hope you read along for both our sakes.